I'm your nice piece of art

2011-05-09T19:36:00.003+08:00

i'm trying my best to use every single method i can think of to get over him, to forget him, to move on. every layer of this facade is just covering up the emptiness, the pain i'm feeling inside. //

2011-05-03T10:02:00.002+08:00

not being on the top of your list of priorities, i hope that you won't regret your decisions. you gave me up for work, but i hope you won't give up on school.

2011-05-01T23:50:00.005+08:00

so i'll watch your life in pictures like i used to watch you sleep

and i'll feel you forget me like i used to feel you breathe

and i'll keep up with our old friends just to ask them how you are

hope it's nice where you are

---

2011-04-29T23:57:00.005+08:00

Roy and I broke up last night. I initiated it out of anger but I regretted. Unfortunately, it was too late. There was no turning back. I feel as though I have been sucked into a black hole, I'm feeling so empty now. It is so hard to explain how I feel to anyone.

No matter how hard I try, I guess it's just not enough. I wasn't trying to pressurize him in any way. When he was upset about his grades, I told him I will be there to remind him about his school priorities and he agreed to it. And now, I am pressurizing him? I just don't want him to side track and regret. Was it wrong that I cared? Or did he rather I not care?

Also, he has not been spending time with me at all. We barely see each other because he is busy spending time with his friends. He says that they always ask him out so he just agreed, then what about me? He always tell me he misses me, but why are his actions the opposite? I try not to complain, I feel bitter about it but I don't want to tell him because I know he will be upset. The fact is that he is losing interest in me but when I ask him, all he does is deny it.. Then am I just living in denial the whole time?

I don't even see the point in penning my feelings down here. What is the point... I'm trying so hard to hold myself together but I can't help but feel so empty inside. I know I have my friends & family. But Roy has always been a part of my life, I put in my heart and soul into this relationship.. why doesn't he see it? And why is he treating me this way?

I am feeling so pathetic, really damn pathetic. I don't want to worry my friends or bother them when I am upset. I know friends are always there but I don't want them to see me like that. Neither do I want them to feel like.... "Oh.. not again...!"

I am feeling really really really terrible. I am trying so hard to be strong but I can't. It is very very hard. I don't know how Roy does it... I don't know why he doesn't seem to feel anything after breaking up. This relationship we had for so long, does it mean anything to him at all.... I have so many questions, so many things to say but I can't.

I am trying really hard to move on because he asked me to. He can move on so easily, but I can't. This relationship was so special to me.. it meant so much to me. I am just really... torn apart now. Everyday he told me he loved me, but how can he do this to me? All the promises he made to me? Did it meant anything at all? They say no matter how much a couple fights, and they never leave each other shows how much they love each other. why can't we be like that? he told me he loved me but why did he go away...

I hate going through this crap all over again. Zuokuan broke my heart and I was really upset for so long and I thought Roy was different... but screw that, all boys are the same. I feel like a fucking rag doll, I feel so cheated.

but is there anything I can do about it?

2011-01-22T23:16:00.003+08:00

I'm pretty sure no one ever comes to this blog anymore. This blog has been long gone for a very long time. I have kept this blog because it is a bunch of silly memories I want to keep. Something to look back at and laugh at myself. Basically, I'm pretty attached to this blog and I have never thought of deleting it at all even though it is so embarrassing.

I don't even know if Roy still secretly reads this old blog of mine but I doubt he does because I think he hardly even reads my current blog, let alone read this old blog. I've decided to come back here and start to pen down my inner thoughts here because I can't talk about how I really feel in my current blog. It is something I have to keep to myself because I don't have a choice. If I tweet about it, or blogs about it.. Roy will be mad at me. And now, he isn't here for me when I am sad.

I really don't know why I can always talk about my problems to my friends and they always get my point but when I explain to Roy about how I feel, he always has to rebut me with his own reasons. He never stops and listen and just accept that he is making me horrible. We have gone through alot of troubles and have broken up quite a few times and I am afraid to lose him so I am trying to hold my tongue about everything single thing.

Times like now, I am really concern about his results and how he has been neglecting school. He missed class so many times, he has been late, and he has partialed quite a few times. It is definitely something I have to be worried about, right? Recently, he has been going out with his friends till late. And having not enough sleep, and now he is sick. And also, his money issues. I have been asking about his spending of money. I am pretty sure he is getting really annoyed with me. But I can't help but not care... Because I do, and I show it!! But I guess I shall cut down so that he won't find me annoying.

Today, I bought him lunch and 5 bottles of honey lemon because he is sick. I hope it helps! And while I was going him with Weijie, I was really annoyed with Roy. And when she told me not to expect too much from him and that he seems really happy when he talks about his friends. It made me think alot.. And I realized that he didn't even seem to be that happy with me. And I realized he has been, or oftenly, takes me for granted. He didn't even thank me or anything for what I have done for him today. I mean, I don't expect anything in return. Or any recognition such as... And like I feel that he spends time with me because he feels obliged to not because he really wants to.

I am really very sad. I even decided to talk to him about it but all he kept saying was "Where got? -.-" And it makes me even more sad. Why must he always insist he is right.. and not listen and accept it. He even said that he doesn't want to do this today. We should talk about it another day. So hahaha right? If he really cared about how I feel or if I am upset, he wouldn't have said such things. He probably thinks I am really sensitive, crazy and paranoid girlfriend. But I am pretty sure, every girlfriend feels the same way as I do. We are girls and we are really sensitive about everything.

Last time, he will always send me hom but today I asked and he said he has no coins or whatsoever. It is obviously just an excuse. I have coins, he didnt ask if I had??? It is really disappointing that our relationship has come to such a stage. And I don't know why I can wear my heart on my sleeve as I typed all of these down. When I actually talk to him about how I feel, I can never talk like that. I have to watch every single word I say because I am afraid of his rebuts. I feel kind of stupid.

I even told myself if I ever cried because of him again, or I ever allow myself to be hurt by whatever he does. I am done. Why should I bother when he doesn't? Why should I be sad when he obviously isn't sad?

I'll see how long I can take. But knowing myself, whatever shit he gives me, I will still want to be with him. lol. Unless... he really pushed me to my limits. I will definitely give up. I should learn to love myself more.

2009-04-04T20:35:00.006+08:00

This is so boringggggggg you're right ping pong weekend are for us to rest at home laugh my ass off, but this is serious ........................... :( You know what? I still haven't finish reading The Chocolate Run okay la i know i'm slowwwwwwwwwwwwwww :( what to do? (go die la) This is nonsense, you're not online. Are you dead? (hope so) Anyway, CONGRATS FOR TODAY'S GAME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ^^ K, i should get out of here now... WAITTTT nice picture don't you think so? You look like Kobe, totally I swear esp this picture(w your tongue sticking out) Omg, perfect! (Hey Kobe, I've found your older sister) :P But sadly, my Kobe is still cuter than you. Shit, i think i'm getting more and more lame I should stop doing all this shit.

2009-03-26T20:39:00.005+08:00

YOU SHUT UP, glad that you know you made me mad the other day! Bloody hell your bloody face with bloody thick and unhealthy lips, I THEN DON'T WANT YOUR KISS!!!!!!! yucks.
^^ still love you a million lah! :D wahohoho, Tomorrow's your freaking match, better play well! Score more than 10 balls, I'll treat you drinks when we're out later ;) Good deal isn't it? hoho :D
I'm sad, and you're mad, oh how great is this man YEAY sigh I'm so terribly sorry (to someone, yes you know who:( sorry) Nvm, tomorrow right we want shop yessss cuz shop shop shop is the only way now WE WANT TO BE HAPPY (yes I am actually, okay i know you too) No, not actually but yes I am just that i think i will be better off not knowing anything you know, Laura? Okay, rubbish i'm talking crap oh crab i want eat that :( well, i blogged like as if this blogspot or account is mine HAAAHAHA i should be off, Zai Jian.

2009-03-21T18:40:00.003+08:00

Heeeeeeeeeeey, don't feel sad pongie, next weekend or maybe Friday we will go shop okay? :D You will definitely get the stuffs you want! ;) Love you! ( and I'm stuck at homeT_T i'm so bored! YOU ENJOY THE PLAY WITH WEIJIE K!!!!!!!!)

2009-03-18T12:42:00.004+08:00

Hi pongy :D i'm here, i'm in your old stupid useless growing mushroom blog cuz i'm so sad to say that, I DON'T KNOW YOUR USERNAME & PASSWORD FOR YOUR WORDPRESS!):

So i can only be here typing nonsense but hello i'm helping you to make ure blogspot alive okay ;) hehe, are you going to thank me? ^^

Okay lah, hope i can see you tonight (if the plan is still on) :D

Miss you, Rina.

2009-01-15T21:42:00.000+08:00

Kay, I miss blogspot :(

2009-01-10T22:04:00.003+08:00

http://www.radicalsituations.wordpress.com/ (influenced by that bloody Chiang ^^)
This blog will still be around!

Love, me.

2009-01-10T21:10:00.003+08:00

I just got back from town, I was with Seraphina, Rina and Weijie but Weijie left earlier. Initially, we were there to buy clothes for Chinese New Year but Rina got herself a white dress which I thought it's really nice even though it's plain and it really suit her. Seraphina and I didn't get anything for ourselves. I spent all my money on dinner. We met Jon Lok and his friends at Sakae Sushi, Wheelock and I had my sukiyaki!!! Baiyong and Lowell came to Wheelock to look for us after that because they were going to Chong Boon's house to celebrate his birthday and Rina was going too. Happy Birthday, Chong Boon! (I hope he sees this)

Sadly, I have tuition tomorrow and I have to finish up my tuition homework by tonight. I am very tired, by the way. The cca orientation was boring but the good thing was that quite many secondary ones joined netball, the results were better than last year. Kay, I should go off early tonight, stupid tuition homework is a burden! No peekchas tonight because I look fugly in all of them.

2009-01-09T21:10:00.003+08:00

My ipod wire has serious issues. I am so afraid I won't be able to charge my ipod. Kay, never mind about that. I have to go back to school tomorrow for the cca orientation thingy or the secondary ones. Tuition today was really boring and time was really passing very slowly. Nothing much happened today, ciao.

Oh yes, I want a new vintage bag.

I WANTTTTTT...... Nehmind, tomorrow go buy!

2009-01-08T19:45:00.002+08:00

Surprisingly, maths test was managaeble. The secondary 4s went to the open house at Nanyang Poly today. I have Aerospace in mind right now, I'm kinda in a dilemma. I need to really think about the courses I want. I have tuition tomorrow, the thought of it spoils my mood. Honestly, I think that the netball team sucks. No offence, netballers. Kay, we gotta buck up. Season's coming!

If I had the chance to go to jc, I would like to go to Hwa Chong junior college. Amanda and Angeline, it's not because of him okay. It's because nanyang is affiliated to that junior college and I would like to go there. Check back to reality, I doubt I can even make it to a junior college.

I miss my long hair, really. Remind me why did I even cut my hair?

2009-01-07T22:05:00.002+08:00

Seriously, I can't believe I am online and blogging. I am so tired, I don't know what I did. There's a maths test tomorrow and I have not revised, I am way way way too tired already. Kay, I will stop here. I am going to bed, I need to sleep. Good night.

Shake it off, let it go.

2009-01-06T22:04:00.005+08:00

School is wearing me out. Everytime I come back from school, I'll look half-dead, I feel dead. I've been sleeping early though. Kay, nevermind about that. I stayed back in school today with Amanda, Angeline and Sheila to study. I managed to finish my Maths homework and read up on my Chemistry. My mind is blank now and I don't know how I should continue blogging. I won't be online that often anymore, I actually thought of coming online only during weekends. I need to study. study. study. study. study. O levels! It makes me sick whenever someone mention about O levels. Know what, this is driving me crazy. I am dying from anxiety already. I am off to bed.

Good night, world.

I deserve to be treated more than right.
you don't matter anymore.

2009-01-04T22:05:00.001+08:00

I was watching American Idol, Season 6 marathon. It's damn hilarious and I think Simon is super hot! I've got a huge thing for older guys kay.

I'll give all my love but I won't give my soul.

2009-01-04T15:00:00.002+08:00

Wait, did I tell you that I came across this old hag with bazoomas? I was like "woah" when she boarded the bus I was in.

New year resolution:

marvin

2009-01-04T14:38:00.003+08:00

I switched from the younger Mr Toh to the older Mr Toh. Well, he's alright but I guess I'll take some time to get used to his teaching method. Thanks to Rina, I didn't have my pencil and eraser to plot my graph and I had to be shameless and borrowed a pencil and eraser from the girl in front of me. Luckily, she was very friendly. And I mean, very friendly. I suppose she's from RGS because she was wearing this sweater which was labelled RAFFLES, DANCE. I believe no one in this world would be so dumb to not know that she's in RGS. Kay, I don't know why I am even talking about this. Oh yes, Rina went for tuition. FINALLY!

I have tuition tomorrow again at 4pm but school ends at 3:30pm because of stupid remedial. You know, I hope I can graduate this year and get out of this school. So many faces I don't wish to see. Kay, eofn suckers.

2009-01-03T22:30:00.000+08:00

If you hate me, then why do you still bother?

2009-01-03T22:10:00.002+08:00

I started my first day in school with Miss Lee's lecturing of my improper attire. Oh yes, did I mention that she's my form teacher? It's a good and bad thing. Firstly, she's strict enough to control the class. Secondly, she loves me(I'm making that up). Thirdly, she's sure gonna lecture me the whole year about my attire. I hope I am able to get along well with her this year. Right, back to first day in school. It wasn't really the first day, I should say. More like a tour around the school, more like a introuduction of a new year, more like a torture from your new form teacher. We headed to Prata Hourse for lunch and then back to school for the basketball gradutation match. It was like a video which kept on replaying but it was still cool. I was able to train my shooting with the volleyball and I heard the netball season starts this month. I feel that we're not really ready for it but screw it, at least we've made some improvements.

Kay, I had the most boringest, dumbest, restlessest, screwedest day ever. All I did was watch tv and laze around. It was so freaking boring that I could die from boredom. Lynmay's bbq at her place is going on right now but I am way way too lazy to go for it. I am sorry, Lynmay! Tuition's on tomorrow. I am glad, I am actually glad to have tuition because at least I have something to do. My life's so worthless.. Oh yes, did I mention I hate my mother? eofn.

Without love(for today),

Laura

2009-01-01T22:11:00.004+08:00

Happy New Year!(Happy Unsweet Sixteen, Weijie!) New Year's Eve was alright, I guess. I wasn't in the mood at all but still, I managed to handle it. We had dinner at Ichiban, Suntec. The food was good. I counted down with the taxi driver, I had to go home because I didn't bring the keys out and my mother wants to sleep. School's starting tomorrow, somehow I am really excited about it. Kay, scratch that. I am comtemplating if I should go to the amk site or should I just go straight to the new site. I don't wish to be late on my first day but the thought of walking over sucks.

A new year means a brand new Laura. I started off with a new haircut, a new length. I hope everything goes on smoothing this year. My studies, my relationship with my family members, my friends etc etc.. I am gonna sleep early, eyebags eyebags go away.

New Year Resolution: Stop sleeping during classes and time to study hard.

2008-12-30T22:13:00.004+08:00

(Taken from Weijie's blog)

I have bad news. I don't think I will be going to celebrate NYE with them tomorrow because I am suffering from severe stomach ache. It's been there for hours already and I can barely walk straight. It's not due to period, I don't know what is it. I hope I'll be okay by tomorrow(crosses fongers and toes). I'm going to sleep in a little bit. I am all drained out and I don't know why. I am way too lazy to talk about day. And Jingyee, if you read this, he'll be fine. Do not worry!(heartz) Oh yes, the boys lost today.

eofn, biatches.

2008-12-29T22:15:00.005+08:00

I think my smile's too wide. weird.

My eyes look weird in the peekcha below.

I had last minute plans with Jingyee. We headed to Cineleisure to dine at the HongKong cafe, the food is good. I think it's much better than Kim Gary. After that, Jing and I walked to Fareast so that I could take a bus home and she could take a cab to look for Mingyang. On the way there, I bumped into Jade. Hello Jade(if you happen to read this) Yeah, so dinner was good. Guess that's about it.

much love

2008-12-29T16:59:00.002+08:00

Your Guardian Angel [Acoustic] (Full Version) - The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus

2008-12-29T15:22:00.004+08:00

Thai green curry is finger-licking good. Kay, never mind about that. Anywayz, my plans for today were ruined because of some things but it's okay, another time. (smilez) Two more days to NYE, so I guess it's gonna be Clarke Quay? Oh whatever, I can't wait.

I wonder what's Rina and Sheila doing, I suppose they're having training right now. Stupid netball, end training so early. Screw it(excuse me for my inappropriate language, Jocie). I guess I'm gonna weed the garden now. What a day!

Kay, I'm gonna take a walk down memory lane. I miss my primary school. You know, I have changed alot. The change I see in me is radical. I used to be in dance last time, well, I could say I started dancing at the age of 6. And like, when I was in primary school, I hated to sweat, I hated the sun, I was god-damn afraid of balls. I was clearly not a bimbo, I just sucked at sports(but I ran alot). I would cry at the tiniest bit of things. For example, in primary 4, George Lim and Marven Sim was kicking a bottle around in class. I was cleaning the whiteboard and I got whacked on the head by the freaking bottle and I bawled for hours over it. What a pussy, I know! If it's now, I bet I'll go over and scream at them. Somehow, I like the way I am now but at the same time, I do not. I don't know how I should explain myself because I am not being myself right now. It's kinda amazing that I'm in Netball now. And excuse me Weijie, I do not remember calling you a bitch in Primary 1 because I only knew what it meant when I was primary 5. So stop harping on it!

I wish I could be someone better.

eofn, biatches.

2008-12-28T19:44:00.002+08:00

Tuition was bad because I was very distracted. I've been thinking of lots of things and even during tuition my mind was still occupied with it. This is extremely vexing! My mother may not be going to work tomorrow because she has gastrics and it looks pretty bad. I pray she'll be fine tomorrow so that she'll be able to go to work because I seriously do not want her at home. At least, I can have my freedom until she's back from work. Oh and I'm going for a movie with my 2 sisters tomorrow, we should be catching Bedtime stories. I have not watched Twilight in the theatres yet! I ought to do so soon.

Before going for tuition, my dad brought my sisters and I to Queensway to get our school bags. Apparently, I got what I wanted and my sisters did not. Oh kay, I guess that's about it. Eofn!

Love,
me

2008-12-27T14:00:00.007+08:00

Seriously, weeding the garden sucks. I was forced to wake up by my mother at 11 plus to weed the freaking garden. I was suppose to wake up at 10 but I ignored the freaking alarm from my phone. And what's worse is that I couldn't go shopping with my mother, she left me at home and brought my sisters. Okay, I think that Miley Cyrus is damn ugly. I am watching the music video of 7 things on MTV. She looks terrible! I was watching Behind the Scenes of Twilight on E! just now. I can't wait for New Moon to come, cannot wait.

New Year's Eve this Wednesday. Okay, what are we doing? Marina or Sentosa huh? Hopefully, we won't be going to somewhere packed with people. School reopen's this Friday, I don't know why but somehow I cannot wait. I haven't bought a new school bag yet. Holidays are boring. My posts are getting wordy again, I hate it. I haven't been taking peekchas lately. Alright, eofn.

2008-12-26T22:40:00.003+08:00

Peekchas taken @ Vivo.

2008-12-26T22:06:00.005+08:00

Tuition was effing boring. They lost the match today but it's okay, at least they tried their best right! I'm going shopping with my mother tomorrow. I have not showered yet, I am way too lazy to do so but I will okay. The new school is super dirty and it's like walking out of a rubbish dump, coming out all black. Oh well, hopefully it will be cleaner next year.

I have been thinking alot, ever since last night, ever since we had that conversation. If I have the chance, I would run away and never look back. In fact, I have the chance but I am not willing to take it. Yet. I know you guys care for me alot and I really appreciate it but the pressure is really making it so hard to breathe. Frankly speaking, I deleted him unwillingly and I have been telling myself that this is the first step. First step in being genuinly happy, first step in breathing in air I have never breathed in before etc. Believe me, I will try my best. Luv you shitheads so much and thank you!

I belong to me.
I don't belong to you.
My heart is my possession.
I'll be my own reflection.

2008-12-25T23:41:00.002+08:00

I am gonna hold you for the last time, I am gonna cry but I try not to let it show. This is the hardest way to say goodbye because as you walk away, I feel so alone. I don't understand why you had to leave and I am not part of your plans. We both agreed but now I regret, there are so many things I wanna say. But now I've let you go, I'm holding back the tears. I'm here all alone, forgetting all the months and now there's nothing I can do to bring you back to me. So we live out different lives. It's so hard because there's no more you and I. We're worlds apart. Sometimes it's hard to get to see the light. Sometimes I think about the way it could have been. I see you everytime I close my eyes. I try to shut you out but instead I let you in. I can't pretend I wanted to end for you and me. What I'd give for one more day just to say the things I need to say. If only time was running away as you walked away, I couldn't explain to you and I can't pretend I wanted this to end for you and me.

... and there's nothing I can do to bring you back to me.

2008-12-25T22:53:00.000+08:00

Somehow, I like this peekcha.

2008-12-25T22:12:00.004+08:00

I have started my Chinese New Year shopping already because I am afraid I won't have time to buy it next year. My mom brought my sisters and I to Vivocity today. I bought a golden tube dress and a necklace from Forever 21. Initially, I wanted to get this black dress but it looks too formal. It looks pretty. And then we had dinner at Kim Gary. I bought a book at a secondhand bookstore also. Oh yeah, I bought a skirt and a top from Zara. My mom didn't want to get me the shoes that I want from River Island because she thinks it's too casual for CNY(I didn't even say I wanna wear it on CNY). Tuition is on tomorrow. I'll be going to school to watch someone's match tomorrow before going for tuition. Peekchas from the wedding dinner will be up on a later date because I can't find the wire to connect the camera to the desktop. That's all.

Love,

Laura

2008-12-24T23:54:00.004+08:00

Merry Christmas!!! A few more minutes to X'mas, I can't believe I came online. I am super exhausted, I had a long day. The bbq was alright and I hope everyone did enjoy the food. The rest went to catch a movie and I wasn't allowed to go with them because I am still grounded. And besides, I am way too tired and I seriously don't have the energy to go out. I wish everyone a happy year ahead. Oh yes, Jingyee is beside me right now. We were prank calling people and it was super hilarious. My left ankle is hurting to the maximum.Why? Because I stupidly slipped and fell when I went to get my flip flops. I totally embarrassed myself infront of my friends. Alright, good night world.

Do I mean a thing? At all?

2008-12-24T14:45:00.003+08:00

I just got up from bed. No wait, actually I woke up much earlier than that but I went back to bed. I followed my mother to the wet market to get the stuff for the bbq and it's also the first time going to the wet market. Unfortunately, it was raining so the wet market was extremely wet and smelly. It's super gross but the people working there were really friendly and funny. I was super tired. And then I came back and I had to prepare the bbq stuff, my eyelids were so heavy and I just wanted to sleep(but I couldn't cus my mother wants me to do everything myself). She left after preparing the chili for the stingray and sotong and I went to sleep and left the rest for the maid to finish. Toby stinks, he really needs a shower! It has been raining the whole night and right now, the sky still looks grey. I pray that it doesn't rain later on. Okay, time is passing really slowly and I am starving but I am saving my stomach for the bbq. RINA CHUA WAS SUPPOSE TO COME OVER AND HELP ME BUT SHE'S STILL ASLEEP! See you people later.

Love,
Laura

2008-12-24T02:39:00.004+08:00

I think you know what I'm getting at. I find it so upsetting that the memories that you select you keep the bad but the good you just forget. And even though I'm angry I can still say, I know my heart will break the day when you peel out and drive away. I can't believe this happened. No, I don't hate you, don't want to fight you. Know I'll always love you but right now I just don't like you because you took this too far. What happened to us? I heard that it's me we should blame. Why didn't you stop me from turning out this way? Know that I don't hate you and know that I don't want to fight you. Know that I'll always love you but right now I just don't...

2008-12-24T00:40:00.003+08:00

I just got back from the wedding dinner not long ago. I am so freaking full and I am tired because I woke up bright and early today to meet Weijie. We headed to Peninsular first to collect my school skirt and then we took a bus down to Vivocity. I bought my stuff and then I went back home. Bbq tomorrow, 6pm okayz! Merry X'mas Eve. Peekchas from the wedding will be up tomorrow, I guess? Oh yes, this pair of electric blue leather shoes caught my eyes today when I was at River Island. I am so gonna get it! Super cute.

2008-12-22T23:14:00.004+08:00

I miss you :(

2008-12-22T16:31:00.001+08:00

I don't care that you hurt me too many times, I don't care that you made me cry, I don't care if this poem rhymes or if this poem sucks, I don't care. I don't care. Whether you like it or not, I don't care, If i was the one you happened to just 'forgot'.

Okay, I am damn bored.
I have not weed the garden yet.
shit....

2008-12-22T15:41:00.003+08:00

I just had my lunch and I am still tired. The aftermath of sleeping late everyday. I have a dental appointment later and guess what I am gonna do before that? I am going to weed the garden. I have to clear it if I'm going to have the bbq.

I have plans with Amanda and Weijie tomorrow. Since there's no training, I will be going to Peninsular to collect my skirt and I'm also going to Vivocity to get some stuff (eyebrows go up and down). Wait, is training still on or what? Tomorrow's a busy day, I still have to attend my aunt's wedding dinner at night. Hopefully, there will be lots of peekchas for me to put up tomorrow. lovex

tell me why you're so hard to forget.

2008-12-21T22:10:00.002+08:00

I kickstart my day with a sumptious lunch. I woke up during lunch time, I was so restless the whole day. I am feeling so exhausted already due to all the late night phonecalls and chatting online. My family and I went to old airport road for dinner after tuition, the food there is damn goood. We should go there sometime to eat okay!! X'mas X'mas X'mas...

2008-12-21T00:31:00.003+08:00

I am so not in the mood to blog about today, maybe I will do it tomorrow. I don't know how to describe how I feel right now, I really don't know. Night world.

I miss you terribly.
Why did I do that to you?

2008-12-19T22:35:00.001+08:00

I miss Nanyang Primary School. I wish I studied for PSLE, I wish I was posted to a better school. I wish, I wish...

2008-12-19T22:07:00.004+08:00

Tuition was boring, I had a huge struggle trying to rack my brains because my brain was dead for one hour and thirty minutes. Vivocity tomorrow but before that I have some errands to run for myself. I need to get ready for school already and I'm starting tomorrow. My left eyelid has a freaking lump thingy inside and it hurts. I hope it won't swell tomorrow, I don't wanna look horrible. And I just found out my mother bought insurance for the dog, how kutez right! Claire is posted to Nanyang Girl's High, freaakkk. They are using secondary 2 books and their pe shorts is fbt material. And the freaking uniform is made from Estar, some expensive brand. (sighs) I feel so lousy. gotta go! lovez

-me

get your effing face out of my sight.

2008-12-19T15:37:00.002+08:00

I just woke up and I am so proud that I managed to sleep early last night, around 2 plus 3? It's late but I usually sleep around 4 plus everyday. School's starting, I hope this habit goes away. I have tuition later on. What a drag...

2008-12-18T22:45:00.002+08:00

The match today was cancelled and I don't know why. Coach didn't turn up but training was still fun! After training, I waited in school for Rina and Sheila's vollyball training to end so that we can go for lunch together. It was a long wait but it was worth it, I guess? In the end, Rina and I headed to Thomson Plaza while Sheila and Angeline went home because they were't in the mood to go out and eat. Rina and I had Thai cuisine, it was yummy and very fulling! I went to Rina's house after that because she was coming to my house and she wanted to go home and bathe first. The rest met us at amk hub because they were coming over to my place for dinner and mahjong session! And I am currently sitting next to Rina because they are all playing mahjong. And my freaking mother just freaking hell embarrassed me in front of my friends. Bloody hell! Never mind, I love it when my mom scolds me in front of my friends..... Nonsense.. lovex

2008-12-17T19:19:00.001+08:00

You don't have to tell me that I'm cute because I know it myself. (wOOt)

2008-12-17T16:09:00.008+08:00

Seriously, I don't have issues with people copying me because it's a form of flattery, isn't it? I have decided to give up my previous blogskin for something more plain. I really like my old blogskin though, I love flowers alot. Oh yes, one more thing. PLEASE STOP GRABBING WHATEVER PEEKCHAS I HAVE ON MY BLOG AND PUT ON YOUR BLOG!!! AND I MEAN EVERY SINGLE PEEKCHAS ON MY BLOG! Go get your own peekchas please.

I am so cool. I missed you so much I murdered you in the middle of the night and stole your heart so you could be with me all the time. I'm a psychopath and you drove me crazy.

2008-12-17T15:40:00.002+08:00

Jasper Hale (Jackson Rathbone)
&
Alice Cullen (Ashley Greene)

much lovex

2008-12-17T14:59:00.002+08:00

I barely got out of bed and I am already online. I fell asleep on the girls and Waikiong while chatting on the phone with them last night, I was darn tired for some reasons. I don't feel like going for tuition so I feigned sick. I hope my sisters don't come to my blog and read this part of my blog. I am gonna rot my day away, training is on tomorrow. There maybe a match, am I looking forward to it or what? Oh well...

Love,
Laura

2008-12-16T17:05:00.002+08:00

I just finished my Paris Hilton's New BFF and I pretty much enjoyed it although it's so materialistic. All the contestants are so fake but it was so enjoyable watching them stabbing knives into each other's back. I'm not psychotic but it's amazing to see people doing all these just to be best friends with Paris Hilton. Yeah duh, there are so many advantages if you're her best friend. Shelly was the most innocent and purest girl I've ever seen(she's one of the contestant) but unfortunately, Paris is too blind to see that she is the best candidate to be her best friend and had her eliminated. Okay, this is a wrap to Paris Hilton New BFF! hahahaha, this is so dumb.

2008-12-16T13:51:00.004+08:00

You must be wondering why I'm blogging when I should be in M'sia. I couldn't wake up and I had a huge tiff with my mom because I didn't want to go, I never did. She was the one forcing me to go. And she still had the nerve to say I've not been spending time with my family when I always go out with them whenever I can. But today, I was really tired... It seriously annoys me how unreasonable my mother is sometimes. I'll be home alone for the whole entire day. My mom ordered books from USA without telling me and I have run out of books. I want to read, maybe I should get a new book for myself as a X'mas present. In a few weeks time, it'll be year 2009. Time really flies! One year gone in a flash, how amazing. Okay, time to go!

Love,
Laura

2008-12-16T00:48:00.002+08:00

My laptop is alive and kicking already. I am happy, unlimited time on the Internet. The bloody desktop has the bloody time limit. (w00t)

2008-12-15T22:12:00.003+08:00

My day was.. purrfect! And so, I met Sheila and her cousin, Dion, in the train and we went to Cineleisure to watch The Day the Earth stood still. I thought it was great, Keanu Reeves is so charming. After the movie, we went to Amk hub to meet Rina and the boys for dinner. I am going to Malaysia tomorrow, I am not looking forward to it at all. I have to skip training again!

-me

2008-12-14T22:37:00.020+08:00

What I am going to say here is what I rightfully should have done a long time back but amazingly and stupidly, I did not. You may think I am letting the whole entire world see this but I am not. Okay maybe I am but that's not the whole main point. I just feel that I cannot communicate with you on MSN and I feel much better telling you here. To the audience who are reading this, you won't get what I'm saying so too bad. (smiles) So here I go..

You are a jerk, a irresponsible jerk. Once you're done, you just clean up your freaking ass and walk away. What do I look like? A ragdoll? I am a freaking human with a heart which contains a chunkful of feelings in it. Wait a minute, or are you eyes way way too small for you to see? If you even regard me as a friend, why did you do it? Okay, maybe I am partly at fault also but still.. I need my dignity, hello!!! I don't need you to fill me with you fucking lies anymore okay. Stop acting like you even care when you obviously don't. I'd rather die then go through this shit you're currently putting me through. Seriously, I am through with you. You, your lies, your sympathy.... You are a mistake I swear I won't ever make again. I won't ever stoop myself to your level, I am not a whore(get this into your head). Don't worry, you can trust me, I won't breathe a word. I know you well enough to know that you won't even flinch after reading this. You will always be you. You always pretend nothing happened when in actual fact, something did happened. That's so typical you, I must say. I wish you all the best in screwing people's life up and making them feel so lowly of themselves after your nonsense. Is it fair you played me for a fool? Is it fair you used me, that's the truth? You're lying all the time and now I am mad. You drove me to the vodka shots and knocked them back. I bet you never thought I would be a basket case. I'm going crazy because you hooked on someome and that someone isn't me. I bet you never thought I was a psycho bitch like the kind of girl that's gonna smash your headlights. No, that someone isn't me. Does she do what I don't? Is she beautiful or will she go where I will go? I bet you will hate me after reading this. WHO CARES!!!! I hope we're still friends though. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Kay, I am done. Ciao (Look, I'm smiling while typing all this out) LOL!!! I told you, you will love this post. I had enough of you, YOU'RE SO OUT OF MY LEAGUE!

2008-12-14T22:08:00.003+08:00

I woke up and then went for tuition. My day was boring. Much lovex

-me

So here I go, I'm gone, I'm going. I'm so over you, and I dont care And I won't go back 'Cause I know if I do, I wont make it .

2008-12-13T23:41:00.001+08:00

I feel sick. Your actions irk me. I hate you.

2008-12-13T22:25:00.004+08:00

I just got back from Chomp Chomp. I met Sheila, Lowell and Dion at amk hub and then Zuokuan, Kokping, Hungyih and Baiyong came after that. We took a bus down to Chomp Chomp to meet Rina. It was freaking crowded and it was hard to get seats for everyone, Zuokuan left after awhile(might as well don't come right, lol). I am so full! My fever is much better and I have stomach cramps. lovex

-me

All you did was pretend it never happened.
And here I am,
nursing a broken heart.

2008-12-12T23:57:00.001+08:00

Oh my mistake about that Levis jeans. WRONG INFO FROM RINA CHUA!

2008-12-12T22:10:00.004+08:00

I am so lazy to elaborate about my day because it was so boring. I'm going to sell all my Levis Jeans to Levis to get money for X'mas presents tomorrow. I am currently chatting with Baiyong because all the girls are not online, no one to chat with me(tear). Much lovex

-me

We lay on the bed and stared into each other eyes.
And it was gone in a flash..

2008-12-11T22:04:00.003+08:00

When you loved the one who was killing you, it left you no options. How could you run, how could you fight, when doing so would hurt that beloved one? If your life was all you had to give your beloved, how would not give it? If it was someone you truly loved?

2008-12-11T19:41:00.004+08:00

I've been told what's done is done
To let it go and carry on
Deep inside I know that's true
I'm stuck in time, stuck on you
We were still untouchable

2008-12-11T19:23:00.004+08:00

I didn't go training today because I am still sick but I'll prolly go training tomorrow. There's training like everyday for this week. Oh well, I have tuition tomorrow and a doctor's appointment. Frrrreaaakk. Peekchas above are from Sheila's bbq. Lovex

-me

I don't know how I feel.
I can't find the truth.

2008-12-10T19:40:00.005+08:00

And some say love is letting go. What do you think?
I can't find the truth and speak my mind.
I don't know what I'd say.
I'm just thinking out loud, love. [...]

2008-12-10T17:14:00.007+08:00

I had a long and exhausting day yesterday. First, it was the match against Bedok South and Sheila's birthday bbq. The girls from Bedok South, screw you mother fuckers! Aggressive bitches with cocky attitude _l_ I don't wish to elaborate about the match so I'll go on to Sheila's bbq.

I was suppose to meet Waikiong at the bus stop opposite Bishan Park at 5:15pm but I was 20 minutes late. I am sorry!! And so, we rushed to Mac to meet the others. Apparently, we were the last but fortunately, no one complained. Rina led the way to Liang Chin's condo and I like the swimming pool, looks very sophisticated. We ate, took peekchas, walked around and apparently, I got thrown into the water. I didn't bring extra clothes so I made a huge fuss about it but it sort of reminded me of the days when we always go to the fountain and play(Right, Rina?). I came home and slept straight away, I was freaking tired(I did bathe first, obviously). I didn't go to school today for the match because I am sick, sorry girls. 8 more days to Twilight, can't wait. Training is on tomorrow. lovex

-me

One song, about a boy. I can't breathe when I'm around him. I wait here everyday in case he scratches surface. He'll never notice.

2008-12-08T22:06:00.007+08:00

I am reading my Twilight series all over again and I am enjoying every bit of it. I had a hard time sleeping last night after Weijie and I hung up(I was tired, you know!). It took longer than I thought it would for that smaller, broken part of me to cry herself out. It happened, though, and I was eventually exhausted enough to sleep. Unconsciousness did not bring full relief from the pain, just a numbing, dulling ease, like medicine. Made it more bearable. But it was still there; I was aware of it, even sleep, and that helped me to make the adjustments I needed to make.

Training is on tomorrow(netball camp too) but I won't be staying over. This was what Cathy said,"If all perished, and he remained, I should still continue to be; and if all else remained, and he were annihilated, the universe would turn to a mighty stranger." This totally makes sense, am I right? Yes, it does. One more thing, I'm looking forward to X'mas. (excluding Xmas without him) luvx

Love,

Laura

What do I look like? The Wizard of Oz? You need a brain? You need a heart? Take mine. Take everything I have.

2008-12-07T22:31:00.006+08:00

I just got back from Malacca, it was a one-day and also a last minute trip. Ehehehe, I haven't showered. The drive there was damn long(okay, not as long as the drive to K.L) but I managed to get some sleep because I slept pretty late last night, thanks to Rina. My mom wanted to buy me this antique mirror cum jewellery box but we didn't get it in the end. I bought 2 bags, very cheap and nice. Oh oh oh! I witnessed a accident today. The motorcycle and car collided right infront of my car, the man on the bike was bleeding like shit. It was damn gross! NO PEEKCHAS BECASE MY MOM LEFT THE CAMERA AT THE OFFICE, FREAK RIGHT! luvx

-me

It was you and me, against the world.

And you promised me forever more.

2008-12-06T22:27:00.007+08:00

I met Rachel today and we headed to town! We walked over to Wheelock to meet Weijie because she had to fix her ipod. Then we walked to Cineleisure(it's muy first time going to Cineleisure with my short hair okayez) to catch Bolt. The show is very touching! And Rhino's so kutezxzxz.. We had dinner at the food court and then we went home. luvx

-me

I see your face in my mind as I drive away, because none of us thought it was gonna end that way. People are people, and sometimes we change our minds. But it’s killing me to see you go after all this time.

2008-12-05T22:42:00.001+08:00

I seem to have severed everything from ties to knots I've bound. But no matter how articulated, words could not have reached salvation. Cast me to this lonely island where I will forever live crestfallen. These heels, so used to sandy beaches are now ready for solid ground and rain clouds. These palm trees were never inviting. My pocket watch stopped and I am dying for stars that line your coast. You are my torture. These leaves can't help but hear these things .It turns fruit rotting. This tide brings salt-soaked memories. When freshwater life is all I need. All is never fair in love and war. These are the things that kings die for.

2008-12-05T22:09:00.002+08:00

I maybe going to Malacca this Sunday and hopefully, I will be able to skip tuition. Wah freak, I am starting to hate my short hair and I miss my long hair.

-me

You have your hands around my heart.

2008-12-05T00:56:00.000+08:00

Twilight is... one word: awesome.

2008-12-04T22:10:00.005+08:00

Training today was good. Of course it was good with the brand new enviroment! I just hope the back gate will be open to save me a few minutes and some energy from walking one big round to the front gate. Yes Rina, the indoor court, BAGUS BAGUS! (eyebrows go up and down) Freaking annoying people come tag me, fuck you. I have tuition tomorrow and I am so not looking forward to it. Here we go again...

-me

I can't wait to go to sleep.

That's the only time I can see you.

2008-12-04T22:09:00.001+08:00

I DID NOT COME FOR TRAINING LAST THURSDAY BECAUSE MY LEFT FOOT WAS INJURED AND I HAVE A MC TO CERTIFY IT. NOT HAPPY, COME AND I'LL SHOW IT TO YOU. I ALREADY TOLD MY COACH BEFOREHAND. DON'T TALK SO MUCH WHEN YOU DON'T KNOW ANYTHING. NONE OF YOUR FUCKING BUSINESS DON'T ASK SO MUCH ALSO _l_

2008-12-03T22:34:00.004+08:00

(Ignore the volleyballers, HAHAHAH)

I shan't let such trival matters affect my mood. It doesn't concern me anyway and I was just merely asking. Oh well, training is on tomorrow! We're finally going back to the new campus already and I cannot cannot cannot wait. Rina took a peekcha of the indoor court for me because she had training at the new campus today. It looks so... sophisticated. But I doubt the netballers will be training there, but still... Twilight will be released on 18 December, I heard it's NC16. (cries) lovex

-me

Once upon time, I believe I was 13 when I caught your eyes.

2008-12-03T22:12:00.004+08:00

If you are not interested in netball then quit. As your netball senior, I have the rights to ask you why you have not been attending training. If you come when you feel like it and don't come because you don't feel like it then what's the purpose of you joining this cca? Last time, everyone have been giving excuses like because our team has no coach, so what's the point of attending. Now we have coach, one by one still don't wanna come. Don't come then don't come. Lazy then quit please, if you have no passion for netball, quit.

2008-12-02T13:31:00.016+08:00

2008-12-01T22:13:00.007+08:00

My eyes are swollen from all the rubbing!! Rina and Yusheng just left and Sera and Amanda left like an hour ago. Well well well, we went to town today. We had Din Tai Feng(okay, I have no idea how it's spelled) for tea. (it was pass lunch time) Then we walked to Fareast and I bought 2 dresses and a belt. I likey like! Rina and Amanda bought a top each also and we happen to see Ashley. After that, they came over for dinner. I KEEEP FARTING, DAMN IRRITATING!!!!! No training tomorrow, (cries) luv

-me

Cause it rains in your bedroom, everything is wrong.
It rains when you're here and it rains when you're gone.
Cause I was there when you said forever and always.

2008-11-30T23:49:00.002+08:00

"I remember I was 13 when I caught your eyes, I was 14 when it started and ended and I was 15 when everything went wrong."

2008-11-30T22:12:00.004+08:00

(especially for Rina Chua)

Tuition was boring!!!!!! Tuition ah tuition. I'm going out tomorrow with the girls. luvs

-me

Baby what happened, please tell me.

Cause one second it was perfect, now you're out the door.

2008-11-29T22:49:00.001+08:00

The fat girl with short hair.

2008-11-29T22:21:00.003+08:00

MY HAIR IS FREAKING SHORT!!!(I didn't go Rihanna) But I'm already missing my long hair. And so, I headed to town with my mom and Claire. We did window shopping while waiting for Hazel's tuition to end so we could pick her up. Hazel rebonded her hair(wth, so not natural) and I cut my hair. ARGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!

-me

hate you.

hate you to the core.

2008-11-28T22:35:00.006+08:00

The rest will be up tomorrow, I guess.

2008-11-28T22:19:00.004+08:00

I threaded my eyebrows today!!! Weijie's first time threading her eyebrows, super hilarious and embarrassing(but I love it). Anywayz, Amanda was suppose to go with us but she was too lazy(as usual). We walked around Little India and then we took a train to town for dinner at Pasta Mania, Cineleisure. I saw a unsignificant person today! (eeeeeew) We walked aimlessly and took many peekchas and then home sweet home. I've decided to..... CUT MY HAIR SHORT! REALLY SHORT!!!! My mom's bringing me to her hairdresser tomorrow because I don't want some auntie hairdresser to screw my hair up. luvs

-me

If i could, I would.

2008-11-27T22:12:00.008+08:00

I went to my uncle's place to visit my grandmother at Compass Heights today and Rina came along with me. And then, we walked to Compass Point. We had Delifrance and then back to my uncle's place for dinner. We talked and talked in the room about everything yet nothing and we went home (my grandfather dropped Rina off at her place). Amanda and I are heading to town tomorrow! That bloody Rina has something on tomorrow (eyebrows go up and down) but we maybe meeting her after that. I skipped training today and guess what? Bukit Batok came for a friendly match and I missed it. My left foot is much much better now but it still hurts though, hopefully I won't be a burden to Amanda tomorrow. I was labelled a burden today by that Rina. I can't can't wait for netball camp! I had a hard time sleeping last night due to the lightning and thunder. I was on the phone with Weijie and Waikiong and the stupid thunder and lightning were freaking us out. To think you can electrocuted if you leave the windows open(I was told by Weijie). oh welllllllz, luv.

-me

You were like my lover and my best friend. All wrapped into one with a ribbon on it. And all of a sudden, you went and left. I didn't know how to follow. It's like a shock that spun me around and now my heart's dead. I feel so empty and hollow. And I'll never give myself to another the way I gave it to you. Don't even recognize the ways you hurt me, do you? It's gonna take a miracle to bring me back and you're the one to blame. And now I feel like, oh, you're the reason why I'm thinking. I don't wanna smoke ony these cigarettes no more. I guess that's what I get for wishful thinking. Should've never let you enter my door, next time you wanna go on and leave I should just let you go on and do it. Because now I'm using like I bleed, it's like I checked into rehab. Baby, you're my disease. When you're loveswept, you'll do anything for the one you love. Because anytime that you needed me, I'd be there. It's like you were my favorite drug.The only problem is that you was using me in a different way that I was using you. But now that I know that it's not meant to be, you gotta go. I gotta wean myself off of you.

2008-11-26T22:24:00.005+08:00

My left foot's so much better now but I can barely walk still, I am hopping! I am skipping training tomorrow because I doubt I can train at all. Hopefully, I'll be fine by camp. (yes, I said that yesterday right!) My face is peeling off, if you are that dumb, I meant the skin on my face. I think this is the effect of sleeping with air con all the time and you skin becomes really dry. Moisturizeerrrrrrrrrr, I need you. Shopping this Friday with Amanda and Rina, FINALLY!!!!!!!!!! luv you

-me

you're the only one and always the one.
maybe?

2008-11-25T22:13:00.003+08:00

My left feet is swollen ike pig trotters. Why? Because when I was sprinting during training, I turned too fast and there goes my left feet! I don't know how to tell you where it's swollen, it's the bone area at the surface of you feet. Okay, I don't know what I'm saying. Should I go see the sinseh tomorrow? Netball camp next week, I don't wanna miss out anything. I took a cab home right after training and then I slept till dinner time. Oh oh oh, I met Waikiong and Lowell for breakfast. Lowell Leong, I have missed you!!! okay luvs.

-me

I've made mistakes that I can't erase, I've made mistakes.

2008-11-24T21:28:00.003+08:00

I didn't do much today. All I did was eat, watch tv and was on the phone with Rina. Training tomorrow! lovex

2008-11-23T22:14:00.011+08:00

I will put up more another day(if I feel like it)! till then.

2008-11-23T14:56:00.002+08:00

I never dared to meet your gaze.
because I won't be able to breathe..

2008-11-23T14:13:00.006+08:00

I know how to play mahjong already!!! My mom was being very nice and let me out yesterday(I'm still grounded though), and off I went to Hub to meet Rina, Sera and Weijie. Apparently, Weijie was doing her nails while waiting for us. And as we walked to Breadtalk to meet Kokping, Baiyong and Zuokuan, we met Sera along the way. We passed them the Topman card and we took a train down to Cityhall. After a really really long time, we finally had Starbucks!!! I had my favourite Iced White Chocolate Mocha (ice-blended okay) We took peekchas, did a teensy bit of my maths homework and talked about double chin which I apparently have (freak). We decided to walk around and we were suppose to buy ourselves charm bracelets but I didn't have much money with me. Sorry girls, next time okay! Surprisingly, we met Jaz and Roy and then we went to Body Nits. The other guys, Kokping Zuokuan and Baiyong, went to Topman to get their stuff, took the card back and then off we went to my house!!! We played a few rounds of mahjong and decided to join Weijie in the living room because she didn't want to play Mahjong. We went up to my bedroom and stated taking peekchas and we played "jia jia jiu". If you don't get it, too bad! We took lots of unglam peekchas. I have only a few of them, I will put the rest up once Weijie sends them to me. lovex

-me

I wanted to tell him that I will never be sorry for loving him. That in a way I still do- that maybe I always will. I will never regret every single thing we did together because what we had was very special. Maybe if we were 10 years older it would have worked out differently.

2008-11-21T21:28:00.001+08:00

2008-11-21T21:09:00.004+08:00

I went to school to buy books with Hazel today. Seraphina and Weijie came along too and Rina's training ended so we all went to the hawker center to eat ice. We sat there and talked while waiting for Yusheng and Amanda to come. Took a bus down to amk hub to eat and then Hazel and I went home with Weijie. I finished reading Yakuza Moon: Memoirs of a Gangster's Daughter which I borrowed from Seraphina. The book is amazing and heart-wrenching! The girls maybe coming over tomorrow? DINNER AND MAHJONG!!!!!! (eyebrows go up and down)

-me.

I don't wanna be a murderer.

I might as well take a gun and put it to his head.

2008-11-20T21:46:00.004+08:00

(I found this peekcha we took a few months ago outside Cineleisure.)

Rin's computer sucks. Oh and I just realized I spelled Rina's name wrongly but I'm too lazy to backspace it. I luv you la! I bet she will go hehehehehehehehehehe when she sees this or she'll prolly call me and say, " hiezxzxzxz! SHUT UP LA!"

2008-11-20T21:13:00.004+08:00

The top scorer for PSLE is from Nanyang Primary (me school) I ain't surprised. My sister got 257 and my mom was over the moon. We had training today and the sun was shining brightly and I was sweating so much. My sweat was dripping onto the ground profusely when we did our push ups. I love the sun! (yeah right) After that, Fiona and I went to the hawker center to have our lunch and the I took a cab home because I was so lazy to take a bus back and then walk into the estate. I was on the phone with Weijie, Rina, Amanda, Seraphina and Yusheng last night, our converstaion lasted till 4:45am. (I remembered clearly because Yusheng was saying I only have 3 more hours of sleep) And you know like how you have "2 different characters" in you, the devil and the angel. One was asking me to go for training because it's our last year next year to play in the school team and the other one was telling me to skip training and continue sleeping. Okay, this is nonsense. that's all.

-me

Tired of looking at the past for meaning.

Losing everything, Its something i cant face.

Hope is on the run, Its something i cant fake.

2008-11-19T21:15:00.003+08:00

My whole body is aching terribly. This is the outcome of not doing proper stretching after a tough training. Training tomorrow. Going to buy books with the girls this Saturday and then they will come over to my place after that. (w00t) luvs.

-me

2008-11-18T21:21:00.012+08:00

I haven't been blogging and yes Olivia, I know my blog is getting boring. I know it myself too! Training today was terrible, it wasn't that tough but it was terrible because it's been so long since I have exercised. Our netball camp will be held at the new campus from 9th Dec to 10th Dec. There will be a number of matches on th 9th for us, I so can't wait.

Amanda's birthday a Sentosa was a blast! Sorry, Amanda. I could't stay for dinner because I had to be home for dinner and my mom was being a bitch. (I am stil grounded) I love you very very very much, Tocky. Even words can't describe my love for you and please forget him. We all love you more than he does. luv you.

-me

I chose this path and I will stick to it.

2008-11-16T14:18:00.003+08:00

I am super duper pissed and you don't need to know why. fuck off.

Friendster sucks, my friends are gone _l_ I only have 33 friends left. Screw this shit!

2008-11-15T14:10:00.002+08:00

I'm staying home, I can't go out because I am ill. lovex

If you don't know me at this point then I highly doubt you ever will. I really need you to give me that unconditional love I used to feel. It's a mistake if we just erase it from our hearts and minds and I know. And I keep on telling myself that you'll come back around. I try to front like "Oh well" each time you let me down. I can't get over you now no matter what I do. But baby, baby, I stay in love with you. It cuts so deep. It hurts down to my soul. My friends tell me I ain't the same no more. We still need each other. When we stumble and fall, how we gonna act like what we had. It ain't nothing at all now. I stay in love, love. Oh, I stay in love.

2008-11-14T21:14:00.005+08:00

Like every other day, I was at home. I slept till 3 plus and woke up for lunch and I went back to sleep. I am emotionally drained, all I wanna do is sleep and eat and sleep and eat. At this rate, I will be gaining lots of weight but I'm not bothered about it, anyway. Training is starting in a few days time and I'll prolly lose weight. Amanda's birthday at Sentosa on Monday! (w00t) We're gonna have a picnic, we're gonna have a picnic, we're gonna have a picnic. The stupidest thing we're gonna do is the makan cheer we did during camp. I'm going back to sleep now, I feel sick. Nice one, my ipod hang. lovex

-me

everyday's a nightmare.
I wanna hear you call me your baby.
I miss you very much.
I'm love sick.
2 months without your face.

2008-11-13T19:52:00.009+08:00

"Look, sweetheart, I can drink you under any god damn table if you want, so don't you worry about me." -Elizabeth Taylor

Even if you have already forgiven me, the least you can do is to acknowledge my existence. Is it really that hard? (...)

We're not pathetic, we're a bunch of devotees who have given our hearts to our special somone who just doesn't seem to appreciate it. Nevertheless, our hearts are taken. And we'll never love another, this, we promise you.